A new blog, a new direction...say hello to Violet

Well hello,

Now is the perfect time to welcome you all to my second, but hopefully more successful blogging venture; Diaries of a Shrieking Violet. 

If I had to make some wild guesstimates (that word probably stirred distressing memories and enduced projectile vomiting for some of you - teachers would use it in school when they tried desperately to appear cool and "down with the kids", as they bored us senseless with statistics-related baloney, which ultimately contributed absolutely nothing towards our life skills, but let's not divert) I'd say about 75% of you are here because you clicked on the link I posted on my Facebook.  Thanks.

No, really.  That wasn't meant to sound sarcastic.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  Please continue to be amazing by reading what I have to say.  

Right, enough ass-licking for the day.

Around 20% of you are here by chance; maybe you found Violet via blog-train.net or Stumbled Upon.  Or, maybe you're here by mistake.  I cannot tell you how sordid some of the Google searches were that accounted for a small proportion of traffic to my previous blog, Fashion is my Homegirl.  My personal favourite was "crothcless clit" (I'm assuming he meant crotchless, and before you accuse me of being sexist, let me say OF COURSE IT WAS A "HE"). 

So, just for a laugh, I'm going to tag all of my posts with something related to sex, women, genitals or porn, you know, as a little red herring.  It's always funny knowing I've delayed the process of some lonely, ugly man finding adequate wanking material.

And that leaves 5% of you.  Ahh, such a small group of people who really do make a massive difference to the number of times my blog is viewed.

Pretentious of me?  It wasn't meant to be, and I am certainly not pretentious.  Well maybe I am, a little, but who said that was a bad thing?  I could spell "onomatopoeia" aged 5, and was reading Alfred Noyes whilst all of you were still shitting in your nappy, eating rusks and watching The Teletubbies.  Anyway.

I believe I can make a few more guesstimations.  The aforementioned 5% is probably made up of the Regina George/Gretchen Weiners/Karen Smith characters from school who love to hate me, my ex-boyfriend and his newest victim a.k.a girlfriend, and at least one stalker.  Is it big-headed of me to think I'm interesting enough/attractive enough to have AT LEAST one stalker?  Fuck it, I probably have like, 20.

Shrieking Violet is my alter-ego, and Fashion Is My Homegirl's evil twin sister.  Violet is a bit rude and very crude.  She's pessimistic and she moans constantly.  She says all the things you're thinking, but never say out loud.  Because, if you did, there's a possibility your friends would disown you, and your family would pack your bags and send you off to live in a nunnery for the rest of your life.

And so there it is, my very first post as Violet.  I've got a feeling this is the start of something very exciting.